Not Quiet Broken - Starwars Fanfic - Love Triangle
by GarazebOrreliosExpialidocious
Summary: The rebels have fled safely aboard the Falcon, leaving Ben left struggling with a mix of confusion and uncertainty. That is until he realizes something... Rey was important to him. Rey, finally settling with her thoughts, struggles to find her purpose among the resistance. After the previous events her judgment is clouded. She is once again confronted by Ben Solo who desperatly w
1. Bens Realization

**Full Description (Since it wouldn't fit)**

 **The rebels have fled safely aboard the Falcon, leaving Ben left struggling with a mix of confusion and uncertainty. That is until he realizes something... Rey was important to him.**

 **Rey, finally settling with her thoughts, struggles to find her purpose among the resistance. After the previous events her judgment is clouded. She is once again confronted by Ben Solo who desperatly wants her by his side. Can he sway her to leave the resistnace and join him?, or will another turn her affections elsewhere convincing her she that her new home lays with the resistance.**

— Ben Solo

Bens eyes flickered with uncertain emotion as he lifted his head upwards. Once again he felt the pull of the force that brought him face to face Rey.

She stood in the doorframe of his fathers ship; the Millennium Falcon, watching him silently, bearing almost no expression. Why was this happening again? With Snokes death should have come the severing of their force connection, and yet she was before him. Was it her who called him?, he knew he hadn't been the one to call her. Not consciously anyway. He searched for answers in her face. But In the end all he could find find was the suffocating feeling of disappointment as the Falcons door hissed shut, and the force was broken. Rey really had abandoned him.

The rebel base once again lay in front of him where she previously stood. He looked down at the small object in his hand just as his fathers dice slowly vanished back into the force. The sight made him feel sick. He bunched his first in anger.

Skywalker humiliated him. Rey betrayed him, and All he was left with was an empty black glove.

When the anger subsided he uncurled his first and once again contemplated the emptiness that lay before him. "Please.." he whispered.

He looked up imagining himself back on the Supremacy. The memory flooded his mind. "Please..." His lip trembled a she ushered the word again. "Please.." A single tear beaded at the corner of his eye. He was stuck in a loop, not wanting to replay what happened next. As if ushering the word would somehow alter the past.

His trance was broken as a pebble skirted across the floor. A stormtrooper had crossed his right, searching the base. That's when he noticed General Hux, standing in the distance sneering at him. Ben could sense that he was relishing in his recent failure. His lip quivered with annoyance as he stood up. He brushed the dust from his robes and gathered himself and walked toward Hux.

His frustration burned with each step as he watched Hux addressed more troopers to assist with the search of the base. He was no more than a tactic that Snoke kept around to make him feel even more useless. An ego breaker. Now the sight of him acting as if he had any real power made Ben infuriated. It wasn't that he wanted the power for himself. He could care less about the first order. His only real intentions since joining Snoke was to finish what his grandfather had started.

Lord Vader had believed the Jedi were truly evil, truly corrupt, and Bens own experience had solidified his Grandfathers beliefs. He wanted nothing more than to wipe out the past and start new. With no Jedi, no Sith, no first order, no rebels. Just a fresh start to the galaxy.

Still, a rivalry burned in him towards Hux. Every cheeky smile he had cast on him whenever he didn't live up to Snokes expectations. The way he stood confidently in the wake of his mistakes. He was a toxin to Bens mind. A poisonous snake that needed to squashed.

Hux straightened himself to attention as Ben neared him. The confidence on his face shallowed. His neck stiffen and become tense. It relaxed Ben a little to see him cower, even if it was slight. His lip curled in a smile.

"What have you found?" Ben asked, stopping in front of Hux. As much as he wanted to dispose of this waste, he would still come in handy for the time being. As long as the first order and the rebels still existed, his past existed with it. The first order was his only hope of finding the rebels to erase them completely. That was still his mission.

"Nothing of importance yet sir, but I assure you we are working diligently and upturning every scrap of debris until this whole wreckage is searched clean." Hux nodded his head.

"Very well." Ben replied emotionlessly. Turning from Hux, he watched the first order at his bidding.

To his left, troopers were lifting scraps of metal from damaged controls while others issued droids to hack the salvageable ones. He turned towards the ship as more troopers worked tirelessly repairing and checking weapons. He continued scanning the area in an empty daze until the room was spinning in a sea of black and white.

"I've found something sir!" A trooper shouted as they ran out of the base. Ben was brought back into focus as the trooper stopped in front of them. He outstretched his hand and in his palm sat a small device.

"A bracelet?" Hux spat. "Is this some kind of joke?"

Ben stared down at the small object a moment. Something about it looked familiar. It was small and silver. Shaped almost like a diamond but with smooth edges. In the center center sat a small blue stone. It began to glow brightly. That's when his realization clicked. He had seen this object before, on Rey. This was no ordinary bracelet.

"A cloaked Binary Beacon." Ben mumbled.

"What?" Hux addressed him.

"A tracking device"

Hux's confused face cracking into a smile. "They must have dropped it as they were running with their tails between their legs!" Hux grabbed the beacon from the troopers palm and ushered him away. He stared at it with a look of triumph. "We will find those disgusting rebels and blast them to pieces one by one." He turned to Ben expecting some sort of pride. But Ben remained stone faced.

Hux continued.

"There numbers are limited now and we have the element of surprise once more! We will not fail this time. If I may suggest, lets start with the girl. The disgraceful Jedi. We will make her pay for the murder of the supreme leader." He spat. "Ah of course you will have the honor if you wish Sir."

"Sir" This word should have made him feel proud, to addressed with that honor. But in that moment, at Huxs words, all the warmth completely vanished from his body. His lip quivered in confusion at the sudden change of feeling. His heart raced in a panic as sweat begin to bead on his forehead, and he felt the overwhelming urge to flee. He wanted to destroy the rest of the resistance, to clear his past but he hadn't thought about what that fully meant. He would have to kill Rey along with the fleet.

He fought desperately to calm himself with the rage that was now building inside him. He didn't understand why the idea suddenly made him feel sick. Something stirred deeply in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to vomit.

Thats when he realized something. His entire life was spent under rule of someone he thought gave him a purpose. All his beliefs were built of nothing more than stories by that same someone. Nothing was ever real. It kept him cold. But since meeting Rey, something began to thaw inside him. He realized he couldn't destroy her. Despite spitting the words at Skywalker, now the very idea of it was tugging at his heart.

Without breaking eye contact Ben snatched the beacon from Hux's palm and turned away sharply. "Have the troopers continue repairs on our ships" Ben called over his shoulder to Hux. He took off vigilantly towards his own ship, the binary beacon squeezed in his palm.

"Where exactly do you think you-u..." Hux choked mid sentence. He grasped his neck frantically with fear and confusion.

Ben scowled as he watched his fingers curl inwards. He squeezed tighter until the sound of Hux's gurgling gasps came to a stop. Satisfied he released his grip and smiled as he heard a loud thump of a body on the floor. He waited a moment listening to Hux desperately gasping for air behind him, followed by uncontrollable coughing, before he continued towards his ship.

The only thing on his mind was finding Rey before the rest of the first order. He needed to see her again, to speak to her. To convince her once more that joining him was the right choice. He desperately wanted to save her from his own destruction.

\- Hux

Hux struggled to get his bearings and pull himself off the ground after the attack. He rubbed his throat furiously as it throbbed. He was confused by Ren's abrupt show of force after something to valuable had just been discovered. He would have thought it had pleased him to have another chance to reign victory and correct his mistakes. As much as Ren displeased him, they shared a mutual interest that allowed him to tolerate the adolescent monster snoke had molded.

"It doesn't make sense" Hux thought to himself, as his eyes burned into the back of Rens skull. "The first order is spread wide, we could have brand new Star destroyers here in a moments notice, but he wants to focus on repairing the supremacy?"

Hux paced in circles, his mind wandering. He tried to come up with any logical explanation as to why the previous events took place. The results came up empty. It just didn't make sense to him no matter how he tried to spin the story. The only thing he knew for sure, is that his dislike and distrust for Kylo Ren felt more real than ever now.

He becons a trooper to his side and whispers something into his helmet.

"Right away sir" the trooper salutes Hux before taking off in the same direction as Ren.


	2. Hyperspace

The last of the resistance had finally made their way upon the Falcon. Feeling relived Rey turned to close the door. She paused.

Her stomach sank as she recognized a familiar feeling. The air around her became still and everything was silent. Kylo Ren once again appeared before her kneeling on one knee. He looked up at her.

Noticing his expression, that of a lost boy, she almost felt bad for him. The moment was brief as she remembered he had brought this upon himself. She had pleaded with him not to chose the path he couldn't let go of. But what influence did a filthy junk trader of Jakku have on anyone, let alone Kylo Ren. None.

He remained silent, gazing into her eyes as if he was expecting her to say something. But for Rey, there were no words left to say. Without hesitation she pressed the button her finger had been locked on and the Falcon hissed shut. Any type of relationship that had formed between them vanished as quickly as their force connection.

Rey sighed heavily as the Falcon jumped into hyper space. Leaning back against the wall of the boarding ramp she regained her composure. She wanted to push the encounter as far back into her mind as possible, for now it was easy as her mind was over taken with exhaustion.

Collecting herself she stood up straight and made her way down the hall towards the middle bay, longing for sleep. She rounded the corner to the right and continued towards the main hold, the ships community area.

Towards the door she spotted a small orange and white blur as BB8 rolled into the commotion of people. She smiled and walked over to the droid. "Oh look at you, your a mess" she smiled, bending down to fix his antenna. BB8 nodded at her with appreciation before she stood up to continue into the hold.

"Hi" Rey was greeted by a rough voice. She spun around to face a young gentlemen. His hair was brown and matted with no obvious attempt of being fixed. His eyes sharing the same shade shone brightly. He smiled at her politely. "I'm Poe" he spoke

"Rey" she replied happily.

"I know" he nodded. His eyes squinting happily.

A large grin cracked on her face followed by flushing pink cheeks, before he continued walking past her. Wether it was the rush of being recognized or simple attraction she felt her response was out of place and quickly corrected it.

Stepping into the main hold Rey spotted and empty bench. Finally she was able to breath for a moment. She sat down, Luke's broken lightsaber sat clenched in her palm. Taking a moment to look around she spotted Finn. He stood by a small cot and gently draped a blanket over a young girl. She couldn't have been no older than Rey, possibly even younger. He remained by her side afterwards and watched her with concern.

It made old memories swiftly pass through her mind; she couldn't help but wonder what kind of trouble they had gotten themselves into, it made her smile.

Her attention was turned elsewhere as Leia took a seat next to her. She looked towards her leader with sympathy. "Luke is gone" Rey whispered. It was almost a question as if she didn't want to believe it herself. Leia looked up at waiting for her to continue "It wasn't out of pain. But of peace and purpose"

Rey could see the sadness in Leia's eyes. "I know" she responded. "I felt it"

Guilt ate away at Rey. Her last interaction with Skywalker had been short of pleasant. "This is not going to go the way you think it is" His words hummed through her head. Luke had been right all along. This was not how she had planned things going. Ben was suppose to turn and join the resistance, but instead he chose darkness. Rey felt foolish.

With a quiet nod to Leia, Rey stood up and escorted herself down the Deck Hatch to the crew quarters, hoping to find an empty cot to retire for the duration of the ride. She had no idea where Chewie was taking them but she prayed it was far enough away to keep the first order off their backs a while.

The cabin door opened loudly revealing three simple beds. Two of them were already occupied by those who had been badly wounded in battle. Her eyes sink with sorrow as she takes refuge in the last available cot. It was cold and rough with a blanket to match, but she was took exhausted to mind. She rolled to her side only to be stuck with pain on her arm. The cut throbbed. She gritted her teeth and tried her best to ignore it.

The door opened moments before she was about to drift off into sleep. A young man entered and walked towards one of the occupied huts. Rey couldn't get a good look at him but she watched as he serviced the wounded crew. He placed fresh bandages on open cuts and checked their breathing. There wasn't much else he could do other than keep and eye on them. When he had finished he stood up and began to walk out of the cabin, before he noticed Rey.

"Hey" he calls over to her before taking a few steps towards her cot. "I didn't realize there was another person here. Are you okay?" It was Poe.

"Fine, just entirely exhausted" she replied. She didn't want to mention the cut on her arm. It wasn't anything she couldn't endure and didn't want to waste supplies.

"Ah well if that ain't the truth. Today's has been one hell of a day, if you ask me." He grinned. "Don't let me keep you up" He turned away from her and shuffled through a nearby drawer, pulling out a cotton blanket. He smiled warmly as he draped the much more comfortable blanket over her. He was about to leave when he knelt down next to her. His eyes twinkling. He placed his hand on hers lightly.

"Thank you" He spoke genuinely. "for everything you've done today. Drawing those ties off our backs was genius. And I'll be damned if I wasn't impressed when you single handily lifted an entire mountain of rocks. Finn kept telling me how amazing you were, but that.. that was far beyond it. You saved a lot of lives today. You saved the resistance. You should be proud." He stood up before she could reply and left the room.

The warmth of his hand lingered on hers, and she felt her cheeks grow hot. Everything bad about the day seemed to vanish for the moment and she was able to finally sleep.

Rey was startled awake as the ship landed with a thud. The entire cabin shook. The pushed herself off the cot and stretched her arms. Her back ached uncomfortably. She gathered up her belongs and opened the cabin door. Poe was on the other side waiting to enter.

"I was just about to fetch you" he grinned. "But I see Chewies landing did quiet the trick"

"One would think with all the damage this ship has taken, he would be a little more gentle" Rey starts.

"Ah, but this ship has been through a lot worse, including it's fair share of crash landings. I'm actually impressed it hasn't broken down yet" Poe's eyes scanned the cabin as if he saw more than just three plain walls and a doorway. Admiration shone brightly on his face. "The Millennium Falcon, the ship of legend."

Rey felt her heart tighten. "A ships legend is only as good as the pilot" her voice strained trying to get the words out.

Poe turned back to her with a sympathetic smile. He himself had know Han Solo for quiet sometime and felt the pain of his loss all the same. "When one legend falls, comes another to takes it's place" He walked over to Rey and gently placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

She smiled at him with a look of gratitude. Hans Solos death was a tragedy of more than just war. Rey couldn't keep herself from replaying the moment over in her head whenever she thought of him. It hit especially hard as a girl who had been abandoned by her own parents, to see how unspeakably calm Han was as he faced his son. He put his life on the line to save Ben, and even in his final moments he still reached out to him with the loving touch that connected a boy and his father.

"We should get some fresh air" Poe coxed her, sensing her distress. "Come on" He headed towards the door and gestured her to follow.

"Fresh air would be nice" she agrees and followed him out the door.

The boarding ramp lowered with a hiss, sending up a cloud of dust as it landed on the chalky earth. Rey and Poe made their way down in the haze, covering their mouths from breathing in the dirt. As the cloud cleard Rey's eyes wided as the Planet comes into focus.

Ahead of her streched out a vast forest of tall green trees, taller than any she had ever seen before. The bark was a rich dark brown with emerald leaves that sparkled as the suns rays broke through. The forest floor was littered with thick lush patches of moss and tall tall grass that swayed in the breeze. The sight was a breath taking.

"Where are we?" Rey asks in Awe.

Before Poe has a chance to answer a voice sounds from behind. "Welcome to Endor!" They both turn around to see General Organa making her way down the ramp.


	3. In My Head

—— Rey ——

"Wait, this is... this is Endor?" Rey smiled widely. "Endor, as in the battle of Endor?"

Poe and Leia both turned to Rey surprised at her excitement.

"I've heard stories of the battle from traders passing through Jakku"

"Is that so?" Leia smiled gesturing you both to follow while the rest of the able crew started making their way off Falcon, thankful for fresh air. She began walking forward into the forest. BB8 quickly rolled after them before getting far, the droid took up position at Poes heel.

"So, What are we doing here Leia, and where are we going?" Poe asked scanning the surroundings. There was nothing but trees and dense vegetation surrounding them on all sides. Chewbacca had landed directly in the middle of the forest.

"Paying a little visit to some old friends" she gave Poe a quick wink. "We are low on fuel, and supplies. Perhaps they can be of some help"

"Uh, Furry friends?" Rey looked confused. "You couldn't possibly mean.."

"Oh she most certainly does" Poe interjected less than amused. "Ewoks"

"I've read that Ewoks are suppose to be very territorial." Rey directed her question to Leia.

"Incredibly" Was her only response. "That's what makes this the perfect place to hide from the First Order."

Rey just nodded her head deciding to trust Leia's judgment.

The Falcon was out of sight now. The forest had come alive with vast species of creatures scurrying about. The landscape was much different than she was used to on Jakku. Rey took in every sight and sound as she followed her companions deeper into the forest. They traveled in silence for a while, keeping pace with each other. Poe hung back a short amount to keep watch, BB8 still close at his heels, as Leia lead the front. She felt at ease being surrounded in the thick of the woods. It was as if a blanket had been draped around them, shielding themselves from the rest of the world.

"Rey..." Rey became alert as a hushed whisper rang out through the air. Goosebumps trickled up her spin. The voice was eerily familiar. She could have sworn she heard Kylo Ren calling out to her. She turned to Poe and then Leia, but neither of them showed any signs of distress. Even BB8 who senses were more acute than humans rolled along unfazed. "It must be the forest air" she thought to herself taking in a deep breath.

"I won't let him get inside my head" She swore to herself with a nod. But it was harder than she thought. She suddenly felt sad. Rey wanted to believe there was still light in Kylo Rens heart. She had seen it on Achtoo, when their hands touched.

The memory brought back feelings of vulnerability. Remembering how she has shared her pain and loneliness with him, then allowed him to comfort her. There was an indescribably warmth between them.

A cold breeze shook the trees ahead violently and Rey was snapped into reality. The sun had grown low in the sky. She rubbed her arms gently, trying to bring her body temperature back to normal. She hasn't realized how cold it had become.

She was startled when a thick brown object draped around her shoulders. It felt warm and leathery against her skin and the scent of oil and sweat filled her nose. Poes Jacket.

She glanced in his direction as he walked a few paces ahead of her now. She wanted to call out to him and thank him, when she remembered their encounter on Falcon. How kind he had been to her, with gentle words of comfort. His hand on top of hers. She suddenly felt embarrassed. Her cheeks grew hot. Ultimately she just stared at him.

His tan shirt clung to him fittingly, showcasing his broad shoulders and muscle underneath. His chin was sharply chiseled and covered in stubble. His expression charismatic. She tugged his jacket closer to her face trying to hide her flushed cheeks.

She hadn't realized BB8 had trailed up beside her. The droid chirped merrily at her.

She gasped, her face serious. "oh you better not tell him!" she scolded.

At last the forest spread out into a large opening. Rey and the others stopped at the front of the clearing. Small brown furry creatures scurried about amongst the many huts that occupied the area. They were no bigger than a meter tall, ranging in colors of black and brown. A patter of scattered footsteps echoed throughout the trees and forest floor. Rey glanced up noticing rope ladders that swung down from the trees above, connecting to large wooden platforms that wrapped around the trees trunks.

"I've never seen one before" Rey looked up at Poe astonished.

"They're not much to look at, but despite their size they're actually pretty strong" he replied with humor in his voice.

"Oh indeed they are" Leia chimed in cheerfully. "They can be rather feisty as well. That's why I want you to wait here, while I go seek out an old friend."

"But.." Poe started

"That's an order" Leia cut him off sternly. She was more than capable of handling herself.

"Well BB8s going with you" He commanded. The droid looked up at him before rolling to Leia's side.

"Alright, Fine. It it'll shut you up" she smiled down at droid "I'll only be gone a short moment." She waved them off and made her way down to the village.

"If anything she can be rather feisty herself" Poe mumbled under his breath. They watched as the Ewoks gathered around Leia. They were chanting wildly in their native language, raising their paws in the air. Leia remained calm with a smile on her face. The commotion died down as a larger Ewok, dark brown with a speckle of tan spots, extended his paw to Leia and escorted her deeper into the village. Poe sighed with relief.

Rey looked at him curiously. "She'll be just fine you know. Leia is strong" she addressed his concerns

"I look up to her" he replied after a moment. "Before all this. I was just a pawn in the Republics Fleet."

Rey continued listening.

"They were doing nothing against the constant barrage brought on the first order. When I met Leia she offered me a place in the resistance and it changed my life forever. So sometimes I even feel I owe her my life."

"So you've been with the resistance long then?" Rey's asked. She realized the two of them didn't really know each other. Now was a good time to talk. She kept the conversation going.

"Not long enough, if you ask me." He shrugged. "But yeah, I've been here a while, and I wouldn't change it at all." His face widened into a grin. He turned to Rey. "I'm just glad to be apart of something that really matters. Where I can do what I must to protect the people I care about." His grin settled into a soft smile.

His smile warmed her cheeks. Something about him made her feel safe. Perhaps his commitment to the resistance which she found noble or his compassion for justice which was also very admirable. His hair swayed softly as a swift breeze rolled in, his eyes twinkled. Rey could see herself getting lost in them.

"Rey..." Again she heard a voice. Kylo Rens. It seemed to be much closer this time. As if he was standing right next to her, whispering in her ear. Instinctively she whirled around to face him, her mind racing with fear. There was nothing there. She felt relieved, but a small part of her felt slightly disappointed.

"Hey!, Rey.. are you okay?" Poe put his hand on her shoulder. She took a deep breath and spun around to face him. Sweat beaded on her forehead, her skin had turned pale. "What's wrong?" He looked at her concerned.

She began to tell Poe what just happened when her words got caught in her throat. She thought better of it. She wasn't going to try explaining something she didn't fully grasp herself. She decided to keep it hidden. She didn't want to alarm him over something that could be all in her head.

"I just thought I heard a noise, but it was probably just the wind" she managed to mumble. "It's not entirely a lie" she justified to herself. Poe's studied her face a moment. He then looked past and scanned the woods for any sign of danger.

"We're safe here" He reassured her. He straightened himself upright.

Before she could reply commotion came from the village below. They both turn their attention to the bottom of the hill were Leia now stood surrounded again by chanting Ewoks.

"Is that a good sign?" Rey looked to Poe once again for answers. But Poe didn't turn to her, he was staring intently down into the clearing.

A small light brown Ewok held Leia's hand in his paws. Leia bent down to hug the small creature in a friendly embrace. She stood and waved to the rest of the village as the Ewoks continued chanting happily .

"Well it doesn't look bad" he shrugged

With BB8 at her side she began her climb back up the slope towards them.

"Good News?" Poe asks.

"Good News" Leia smiles up at him. "It looks like the Ewoks have some spare huts in the eastern part of their village. They're willing to let us stay and rest a few days until we can get ourselves situated."

"But what about the rest of the resistance? Can't we regroup with them?" Rey suggests cluelessly.

Leia looks to her sadly. "My dear, this is the rest of the resistance. We sent for a distress signal when we were on Crait. It was revived, but no one replied. I'm afraid we need to make due on our own for the time being." She rests her hand on Rey's shoulder "it will be alright though. We are safe here. We have friends within the Ewok troop and they despise the first order just as much as the rest of the galaxy, and they are not afraid to fight it."

Rey studied her face a moment. Once again she could see a face full of hope that put her mind at ease. The resistance was lucky to have such an inspiration for a leader. She could see why Poe looked up to her so much. Leia was like a mother she never had.

"We should head back and tell the others before it gets any darker" Poe interrupted the thoughtful moment.

Rey looked up into the trees as the suns rays turned a dark shade of orange. She felt the ache come back in her shoulders from her previous uncomfortable nap on the Falcon. She was exhausted and looked forward to a good nights sleep.


	4. The Spark

—— Rey ——

The hut was small considering it was built for a creature more than half her size. Rey didn't mind it though, it felt almost familiar; reminding her of her make shift home back on Jakku.

There was a small bed made of straw and twigs nestled in the corner of the room, while a table made from the stump of a tree took up the middle. The place was cluttered with clay cooking pots and silverware carved from bones. A dimly lit torch hung on the wall casting a golden hue around the room, while the only barrier to the outside forest was a thin sheet of animal hide that draped across the door frame.

Rey unhooked her hostler that contained a blaster and Luke's broken saber, and laid it gently on the table before taking a seat on the bed. She was alone now, left with her troubled thoughts.

Poe's jacket still draped over her shoulders. Sighing she pulled it off and brought the jacket close to her face letting the leather caress her skin. Poe's scent still lingered on it.

She had offered it back to him when they reached the Falcon, but he suggested she keep it for a while, at least until they found something more suitable for her. Rey felt awkward in the situation, she wasn't used to being around someone as considerate as him. He had been nothing but nice to her since he had introduced himself and his overall essence was pure.

"I need to sleep" she finally told her self laying down on her back. She stared up at the ceiling blankly, her eyes refusing to close. Rens voice was still ringing in her ears. As much as she didn't want to recall today's events, she couldn't keep the images out of her head.

"You're not alone"

"and neither are you"

She replayed the memory again. Stretching her hand towards the ceiling she imagined the warmth of his fingertips against hers. She had let her guard down in front of him. She opened herself up to him and revealed details about her past that she hadn't shared with anyone. It was an intimate encounter that struck a bond between them. It was the first time in her life she ever really felt connected to someone else in that way.

But then she replied the memory on the supremacy.

"Please..." Ben Solo stood before her his hand outstretched pleadingly. A sinking feeling entered her stomach at the thought. In that moment she had felt so lost. For a fleeting moment she had thought about joining him. He wasn't entirely wrong in his views. The galaxy needed a change. It needed to rebuild. Perhaps letting the past die was its only hope for a better survival. But how could she just leave her friends for dead? Ben had given her an impossible choice.

"You could have stopped this" Tears beaded up in Rey's eyes.

"You could have stopped this" A deep voice mimicked.

Rey immediately jumped up from the bed. Instinctively she grabbed for the Saber in holster. She hadn't felt the force connection, too wrapped up in her own thoughts.

"It's broken, remember? It shattered when you fought me on it" Ben emerged from the shadows and revealed himself.

Frustrated she tossed it aside and fumbled for her blaster.

"Looking for this?" Ben mocked. He held the blaster in his hands. She froze in place unsure of what her next action would be. She could force push him, but how effective would that be against him? He was much stronger in the force than her, she could be easily over powered.

"What do you want?" Rey glared at him. Her body was shaking, but not entirely from anger or fear. There was a new mix of emotion forming inside her. She didn't attempt to try and explain it to herself in the moment, but part of her felt relieved. She mustered up all her strength to keep a straight face. She didn't want to reveal to him that maybe, just maybe she wanted him here.

——Ben——

"To explain myself" Ben stated bluntly taking a step towards her. She immediately stepped backwards but was cut off by the bed. He stood a few feet away from her now, placing the blaster on the table. He watched Rey's eyes dart towards it. "Rey" he called to her.

She refocused her attention on him realizing she wouldn't be able to get the jump on him even if she could grab the blaster from the table. There was nothing left for her to do but listen. "Very well, then speak"

Ben relaxed his shoulders from a guarded stance and sighed. "My whole life I've lived beneath the people who were suppose to protect me" His eyes shift toward the ground as he spoke. "Han and Leia were always so wrapped up in their own affairs that my life was upturned by a mother whos only focus was leading the resistance, and a father who found it was more important to maintain a reputation and full wallet than take the responsibility of parenthood. That's when they sent me away to train with Luke. I never had a choice of my own, they just abandoned me."

"They loved you!" Rey butted in.

"They left me!" Ben snarled annoyed. "I've had to deal with the pain of feeling unwanted since I was just a young boy" His fists clench and unclench as he fought to keep his temper at bay. "You of anyone would know what that feels like!"

It was true. She felt guilty for cutting him off. His parents may have loved him but she didn't know his full childhood.

His lip quivered as he continued. "I had no choice but to train with Luke and the other Jedi, and so I did. It wasn't long before Luke started to treat me different, as if I was a danger to myself and the other students. He began to hold me back from my true potential."

"Luke was just tying to protect you" Rey interrupted him again.

"No, he was just trying to protect himself!." Ben took in a deep breath. "All I wanted was to make my mother and father notice me and so I decided, to do so I needed to become the strongest, most powerful Jedi anyone has ever seen. I trained tirelessly day and night! I thought Luke would be proud of me, but instead he feared me, everyone did. He told you the truth of what happened that night. He was my family, and they all let me down!!"

"Ben..." Rey took a step towards him, stopping short of reaching her hand out to touchs his. She wanted nothing more than to comfort him but she knew better. The minute she did so, she would be telling herself that his actions were justified.

"I know you struggle the same way that I have, I know you feel the darkness just as I do. Your parents abandoned you and left you all alone. You and I are one in the same Rey." He collected himself. "The resistance has nothing for you. They will exploit your own conflict to meet their needs, fighting a war that will NEVER end. You know I am right. Your abandonment is just there gain, as mine was to Snoke. Come with me..."

Her mind was racing rapidly trying to process everything he said.

"Rey..." Ben took another step towards her. She didn't attempt to move away this time.

"We don't have to feel abandoned anymore" He slipped one of his hands into hers, his other caressed her cheek. He leaned in. His face was close enough to hers now that he could feel her breath against his lips, he could almost taste the saltiness of her fresh tears. "We share a connection Rey. I know you feel it too. That's why you haven't pulled away from me, right?."

Rey flinched at the realization of him being right. She hadn't even attempted to stop him or push him away. Her eyes darted from side to side trying to figure out her own emotions.

Ben placed his thumb on her chin. "Look at me" he coaxed her. Their eyes finally met. "I am just as lost as you, searching for my place in the galaxy, and now I know where it stands." His eyes burn into hers with a sullen expression.

Rey's heart began to pound in her chest. She didn't intend to let him break her down so easily, but she knew she felt it too. It was all so overwhelming. But could she really turn her back to the resistance? She lost sight of the question as his breath tickled her skin. His face was so close, their noses almost touching. She glanced down at his lips as her own quivered.

"Ben... I..." her words were suddenly muffled by his lips as they pressed into hers...


	5. A Fleeting Momement

—— Ben ——

Rey was within his grasp now. This wasn't his intention when he had entered her hut. It wasn't even a thought that had crossed his mind. But as he opened himself up to vulnerability he felt the longing to be close to her stir.

Her body was tense. He had caught her off guard. Fear swelled in his mind begging for her not to reject him. How could she feel anything towards a monster? She had called him that herself. She had branded the very word into the side of his face.

The thought suddenly made him angry. His body sweating. His lips still locked into hers. She hadn't reciprocated and a new mix of emotions boiled in his veins. His Saber was easily within reach. His fingers twitched with the very thought of how easy it would be to end it all.

He suddenly flinched. He was confused as Reys arms wrapped around his neck. Her hands twisted in his jet black hair, tugging him gently. She pushed her lips into his and his fingers relaxed. She had returned his desires.

He didn't hesitated. Their mouths tangled together in passionate waves. His mind was racing, his body grew warm. He needed more.

His hand slipped from her chin down to her waist. He pulled her in against him until he could outline every inch of her body with his, but still he wanted more. Before he knew it his hand was beneath her tunic. Soft skin brushed his finger tips as he felt the rise and fall of her stomach.

Her lips parted with a small gasp.

"Wait!" She cried out in a whisper. Her voice reading fear. Ben was taken back by the sudden change and request. He removed his hand from her shirt and stared at her confused. He couldn't read her her face.

She quickly pushed his hands away and adjusted her tunic, she refused to meet his eyes again afterwards. "Ben... I.."

"No" Ben interjected.

Rey felt a shock throughout her body. His tone was sharp edged and swift. It frightened her more. What did he mean by no? She had barely spoken.

"I know what you're going to say" he continued, his voice monotone now.

"If you know, then why haven't you struck me yet?" She challenged his knowledge.

"Is that all you think of me?!" Ben snarled.

"What?,.. that's not what I..." she stammered realizing what she had just said. It wasn't how she intended it to come out. She wasn't sure exactly what she wanted to say in it's place, but now it was too late to take back.

"I get it. I'll never be anything more to you than the monster who killed his father." Ben whirled around angrily and stormed out the door.

"Ben!" She cried. She quickly grabbed her blaster and tucked it into her tunic before taking off after him. She ran outside only to be blasted with a sheet of rain. She shielded her face from the cold onslaught and searched for Ben. Through the mist she quickly spotted him headed towards the trees. "Wait,... please" She darted in his direction. She gained on him. Almost there. She reached her hand out to grab his cloak when her foot slipped on a branch sticking out from the ground. Pain spread over her forehead and she sat their stunned. She looked up and Ben was gone.

——Poe——

The air was damp with the sudden rainfall. It poured against the roof of the hut forbidding sleep. Poe rolled to his side restlessly unable to get comfortable. His legs hung over the end of the bed that was clearly not made to fit his size. It wasn't the only thing that fed his mind awake that night.

His temples throbbed with an incredible weight as he thought about the day, while the rest of him felt like he was suffocating in guilt.

After leaving Bright tree village he had traveled back to the Falcon with Rey and Leia. Parting ways with them he carried out Leia's orders to relay to the crew what had been decided. He ran into Finn along the way. His friend remained in the same place he had been all afternoon, standing tirelessly by Roses side as she rested.

"How's she doing?" Poe asked, taking a step forward towards him.

Without taking his eyes off rose Finn briefly explained that she was expected to make a full recovery, but it would take quiet some time before then. He made it very apparent that he wasn't to keen on having a conversation at the moment.

Poe understood and felt relieved. He placed a comforting hand on Finns shoulder before he turned to leave. He made a final glance back at Rose, admiring the courage she showed earlier. He felt thankful, until his eyes rested upon her hand. Between her thumb and index finger cupped against her chest, He recognized the small half moon shaped pendant hanging from her neck. He was painfully reminded of his fatal mistake that cost the life of her sister, and many others. He left feeling broken.

Poe rolled on his back trying to shift his mind of the memory but it was even more uncomfortable than his side. He couldn't shake the fact that the victory against the dreadnaught seemed so insignificant now. He had cost the resistance more than they could afford to lose, half the fleet including Paige, Roses sister. In the process he had also deliberately disobeyed General Organa, not only costing him his rank but Leia's respect.

"This is ridiculous" Poe sat upright frustrated. His chest heaved with rapid breathing as he tried to calm himself down. A gentle scatter of beeps emited from the corner of the room as the orange and white Droid rolled into the center and of the room facing him.

"Yeah, I'm alright Beebee-ate. Thanks" He replied to his companion. The orange and white droid had been with him since he was the commander of Rapier Squadron for the New Republic and he always seemed to have a way of sensing Poe's distress.

"Doesn't look like I'll be getting any sleep tonight" he shrugged heavily before standing up. He brushed off the loose straw clinging to his tan shirt, and combed his fingers through his hair. BB8 followed him as he pushed his way out of the small hut into night.

He gratefully let the rain soak him to the core. It felt like he was being cleansed of all the terrible things that had happened that day. He was fully aware of his shortage of clothing, but he didn't care. All he wanted was the pain to be washed away with the storm.

BB8 cooed softly but Poe hushed him sternly. "We don't want to wake anyone" He scolded. His eyes wandered around the small village the Ewoks had generously offered them.

No more than a moment passes when BB8 senses movement in the distance. The droid began to beep in distress.

"Beebee-ate I thought I told you to be..." His eyes caught the movement as well. Someone was running towards the woods.

Poe immediately crouched down placing his hand against BB8s spherical frame. He whispered a silencing static to the droid and the both watched quietly. Suddenly the figure dropped. As if someone had fallen.

Unhooking the blaster Poe still carried on his belt he motioned BB8 to follow him forward, but to remain alert. Sloshing across the wet earth they take caution as they near were the figure fell. It was a person.

"Alright now, nice and steady.. put your hands up" Poe commanded to who ever sat in front of him. The figure moaned. "I said put your hands up!" Poe called again. "Beebee-ate Wait!.." he called to his droid as it rolled over to the person.

BB8 immediately beeped with concern. Poe lowered his weapon embarrassed. "Rey.. Rey are you alright?" He ran over to her frantic. Her hand was against her forbead. "Are you hurt, what happened?, what are you doing out here?"

Rey just looked up and started into the woods once more. Poe noticed a trickle of blood running past her eye. "Alight, come on let's go." He wrapped his arm underneath her shoulder and helped pull her to her feet. She was obviously in no state to talk and he needed to get her out of the rain. With haste he helped her back into her hut and sat her on the bed. She stared at him dazed.

"Okay, you don't need to tell me what happened but at least let me take a look at that cut" Poe stated firmly.

She touched her forehead where it throbbed with pain. Her fingers were coated with a hot sticky substance. "Ow" she winced.

"Well it's going to hurt if you touch it" Poe grinned.

Rey nodded to him. "Alright, let me see" He cupped her face in his hands and pulled it close to him. Brushing a stray piece of hair from her forehead he examined the cut thoroughly making sure it wasn't deep. His fingers were cold against her skin but his breath burned hot against her forehead. She took a deep breath as he gently dabbed the sleeve of his cotton shirt against the wound. His scent was familiar. Freshly turned dirt mixed with sweat, oil and this time a slight trace of ale, just like his jacket. She felt comforted once again by it.

"It doesn't look too deep" he said relieved cracking a smile. "So are you going to tell me what you were doing outside alone in the rain?"

"What made you join the resistance?" Rey finally spoke. The question took Poe off guard.


	6. Forget The Past

——Ben——

Ben refused to look back even as Rey called his name. He needed to leave before his anger took the best of him. An explanation was not needed, nor did he want to stick around to hear one. It would just be an excuse anyways, her feelings had been made clear, so he thought.

The darkness seemed to stretch on forever as he trudged through the woods. His ship wasn't much father ahead now but he stopped a few paces away. The rain had let up some, turning into a light shower. His mind paced in circles unsure of what to do next.

In his mind the answer was so simple, so why couldn't Rey see it? Forget the past, and start over, new. But she was still holding on. The foolish idea that she had thought of Han Solo like a father she never had, infuriated Ben. Han Solo had never been a father to him.

He feverishly clenched and unclenched his fists over and over accompanied by deep short breaths.

"Aaaaaaagghhhhhh" His triple bladed Saber ignites in his hands. He stares at the red jagged light that spit and hissed at the call of his fingertips. His eyes twitched as he focused on swaying glow letting it entrance him. The Saber was a reflection of himself, uneven, unbalanced, unstable.

With a large burst of anger he swung the Saber in a circular motion. It swished through the air with ease, illuminating the forest in a hue of red. He huffed. Again he swung full circle, ending the movement with an undirected jab. The blade sunk deep into the flesh of an oak tree. The wood began to crack and splinter as the heat from the Saber ate away at its insides until it began to burn. Ben pulled the Saber back switching the blades off. He stood motionless watching the flames flicker, unsure of what to do next.

——Poe——

"What made you join the resistance?" Rey glanced up at Poe. His face was still close to hers.

Poe was thrown off by the question. "Why was she asking this all of a sudden?" He stared at her a moment studying her eyes. They sparkled like the stars, big and bright. But she looked as lost as far as the galaxy stretched.

Suddenly realizing that his hands were still cupped around her chin he cleared his throat and pulled them away, his face flushed pink as he took a seat on the bed next to her.

"Well that's a loaded question" He half chuckled to himself.

"Ah, I'm sorry. You don't need to tell me if you don't want to. I was just curious." Rey waved her hands apologetically at him.

"It's alright" He smiled softly at her. "It'll be a good way to get to know each other."

She nodded.

"Did you know my parents, Shara Bey and Kes Dameron, fought right here alongside Leia and Han in the battle of Endor" His finger fiddled with a small metal ring that hung from a chain around his neck as he spoke.

Rey looked at him surprised.

"My mother served as a pilot in the alliance to restore the republic, while my father was a Sergeant. Most of their lives were dedicated to trying to bring peace and balance to the galaxy. I was always so excited when my dad would come home and tell me stories of their battles and the dangers they faced. They were my hero's"

He leaned back getting lost in his story "My mother however, she was more closed off about her time with the republic. She didn't believe In boasting about her accomplishments. She would always tell me that it is enough just to live with them."

He grinned. "And yet everyday I would ask her to tell me just one story."

Rey couldn't help but smile.

He paused a moment to take a deep breath before continuing. "Everyday my mother would take me flying in her A-wing. I would sit on her lap and we would soar through the sky, her hands guiding mine on the controls. I loved the feeling of being in the air. It was like having freedom at my finger tips." He wanted to smile at the memory but it was bitter sweet.

"When she passed away, it was so sudden and it wasn't easy for me. Ultimately I wanted to find a way to honor her and everything she had done. So I followed in her footsteps and became a pilot for the new republic, and you know the rest from there." He smiled softly turning to Rey.

Rey nodded. She turned away momentarily to take in his story. There hadn't been much time for her to get to know the lives of anyone she was surrounded by. They all felt like strangers to her, and Poe's story made her feel almost selfish when it came down to facing the truth. She was just reaching for reasons to stay.

"I'm really sorry to hear about your mother" she finally turned back to him.

His lips curl slightly upwards into an appreciative smile.

"She sounds like she was a wonderful person, your father too." Rey placed a sympathetic hand on top of his. She hadn't thought much of the gesture other than being polite.

The gentleness of her touch warmed Poe. Heat tingled throughout his body causing his cheeks to glow pink. He felt a mixture of feelings growing inside the pit of his stomach. One he recognized as embarrassed, from sharing intimate details of his past. He couldn't remember the last time he had spoken of his parents out loud. The other was more complicated. A fluttering sensation in his stomach. As if his insides had turned into air, he felt light. He glanced down at her hand on his wrist and for a second he hesitated with the idea of placing his on top. He decided against it.

He wasn't naive. He knew the feeling stemmed from their physical contact and nothing more.

"What made you ask?" He ignored his wandering thoughts.

Rey pondered a moment to herself. A long sigh escaped her mouth as she removed her hand from Poes. She faced him bravely. "I'm not sure what my place in all of this is, in the resistance. I was aware of the war going on in the galaxy but it was non of my concern, and now I'm apart of it." She shook her head softly noticing the look of confusion on his face. "Not that there is anything wrong with that, I realize how that came out."

"It's alright, I understand" Poe nodded.

Rey continued. "Back on Jakku, I waited so long for my parents to come back for me. All I ever had to do was survive. But now I just feel lost." Her voice started to shake. "I have no family, no home. All I have this power I barely understand and the one person who would be able to guide me is gone." She closes her eyes tightly trying to suppress tears that threatened to expose the full extent of her pain. She hadn't had time to grieve properly.

"Rey" Poe didn't hesitate to comfort her. He leaned in and put his hand against her back. "Luke's death wasn't your fault." He replied trying to be gentle but firm at the same time.

"If I hadn't.." Rey began, but Poe cut her off with a stern head shake.

"There is no room to start with that." His jaw clenched tightly as he spoke. "Nothing you did or could have done would can change what has happened. Trust me, I know how it feels to put blame on yourself. I experienced a similar situation back on Jakku when I was looking for the map to Skywalker. I can't blame myself for Kylo Rens actions as he murdered an ally of ours and the entire village of Tuanul."

Rey turned away trying to hide her wide eyed shock. Poe continued talking but her mind was drawn else where now at the mention of Kylo Ren. She hadn't considered everything else in Bens history afar from killing Han and ultimately causing Luke's death, even though she felt most of the blame on herself.

"Hey, Rey." Poe realized she had become distracted. He reached over and took her hand in his seeing the distraught look on her face. She turned to face him, tears welling at the corner of her eyes. "You and Luke gave us a fighting chance." He locked into her eyes with admiration. She stared back at him fully focused now. "He gave his life so that we could escape, and that choice was entirely his own. You should be proud that you were able to get through to him and open his eyes to the struggle around us. But you must realize that his choice was not your fault."

Poe suddenly felt the tickling in his stomach again as her face studied his. Her smooth skin glowed in the torch light like the hot sun beating down on desert sand. Lightly sprinkled freckles spread across her cheeks. He gently released her hand and scratched the back of his head to ease the awkwardness he was feeling. Now wasn't the time to be thinking of such things but he couldn't help but notice how attractive he found Rey, not just physically. Their conversation had become very personal. Thinking back on Rey's sacrifices he realized how selfless she was, brave, and courageous. He admired her.

— Rey

"Perhaps you're right" Rey huffed feeling defeated. She wasn't fully ready to wave the blame from herself but her mind was too tired to make an argument.

Poe frowned snapping back to senses. "I know my words may seem like nothing right now, but think about it at least" He stood up and stretched his arms in the air. "We should both get some sleep though, who knows what tomorrow has in store for us."

Rey couldn't stop her eyes from once again wandering over his muscles as he stretched.

boop boop* BB8 sang.

Startled Rey turned away quickly before Poe turned around, she had forgot the droid was still with them.

"We're going buddy, relax" Poe mushed his friend towards the door with his foot. He stood in the doorway a moment before glancing back at Rey. "You're wrong by the way" He spoke briskly.

"I beg your pardon?" Rey looked up at him confused. She hadn't said anything.

"About having no family or a home. Finn, Leia, the Resistance, and me. Even if you don't know where you fit in right now or what your purpose in all of this is, we'll be here to help you. We are your family. You are home." With his finally words he shot her a warming side smile and left.

It suddenly felt hit inside the hut as heat flushed to her cheeks. Poe's words echoed in her mind. "You are Home"

A bead of sweat trickled down her forehead. Subconsciously she wiped her arm across it for relief. A familiar sharp pain shot through her head as she pulled her arm away. A smear of blood stained her arm wraps, but that was the least of her concern.

"Ben!" She quietly yelled to herself. She had forgotten all about him.


End file.
